WARNING THIS PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT MAY NOT BE FOR THE FAINT OF HEART
Woodworkers beware! A new threat to our beloved vintage tools is rising. While we painstakingly restore our pre war Stanley hand planes and Disston saws to put back to use, a sinister force is competing against us in online auctions and early morning yard sales. Well known and despised by woodworkers everywhere, the devious saw painter takes our fine hand saws and destroys them with pastoral Bob Ross paintings on the plate. Fortunately this tool poacher has been identified and we can combat against them by offering up the post war Disstons and Craftsman saws that aren’t worth restoring to use anyway. A detente of sorts has been struck where we feed them crappy saws and they keep their oil paints off our industrial era beauties.
Today, I identified another species of tool poacher possibly more heinous in nature. This hand plane defiler puts even less thought into their desecration by wrapping the plane body in pretty ribbons and adorning the frog with dried twigs and berries. No talent required but in one feel swoop the poor hand plane has been swept from the shop and emasculated to the land of purse dogs and knick knacks!!
uurrp…I just threw up in my mouth!
This poor plane was sighted at a local craft show and I was deeply dismayed to learn that it had once been accompanied by at least 10 others like it. Those 10 of it’s brethren had already been sold into exile of the shabby chic. The evil doer even told me that these “hand planer thingies are my best seller”!!!!!!!!! (too many exclamation points…I think not)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Beware my brothers! This insidious new threat is out to snipe you on auction bids. We must infiltrate this faction and convince them that Buck Brothers, Groz, and Footprint planes are much better for knick knacks due to their rare and “highly sought after” out of flat soles and poorly cast bodies. The Stanleys of the world are too uniformly manufactured to be shabby chic and fly in the face of all that poorly decorated knick knacks stand for! I would rather see my moulding planes screwed to the wall of an Applebees than stomach the sacrilege of the dried twig and berry treatment! Unite my fellow woodworkers and stop this menace before HGTV picks up on it and broadcasts a “How to decorate old tools” show.
Heh! I thought this plane looked like someone used it as a hood ornament and ran through the bushes while mounted on the hood. I think you’ve started something here. I see years of desecrated hand tool pictures in your future to win the coveted honor of being THE most desecrated hand tool. ;o)
“hand planer thingies”
Ugh, you horrible woman!!!!!!1!1!!11!!one!!one1exclamationpoint!1!
When we see a quality plane confined and disparaged like this, we must always buy it and set it free! It is the only solution!
Don’t get me wrong – I don’t want or need any more hand planes – but I’ll happily fix it up and give it to some woodworker who is thinking about trying hand tools.
Heading to a tool auction this next Saturday; for their sake, I hope I don’t run into any “crafty” looking women bidding on hand planes…
That was the one that wasn’t in very good shape. I now have 3 “new” thingies that are nice and square, came with a decent blade, and will be put to good use “decorating” my new bench!
this reminds me of the time I bought a Disston rip saw from an antique dealer. the saw was perfect, never used, but was painted, looked like someone took a good long time preserving the saw in paint. when I bought the saw for $20 , the guy asked me if it was a gift for someone?, since I don’t look like the type to hang such things on my walls, I waited until I had paid, then told him that I was going to use the saw, right after I put some paint thinner all over it to remove the paint. I thought he was going to cry, his wife had painted the saw years ago. All I could say was , sorry, and thanks for preserving my nice rip saw. true story. I almost cried myself on the drive home, because I was laughing so hard. I purposely look for tools like this to restore now just to drive those people crazy and to get the old tools back into proper circulation. many times you can actually get them really cheap because they don’t really know the true value of the tools themselves.
Nice idea! Now I know what to do with any ‘bundle’ planes I have no use for when I go to the local tool auctions. Sell them to local kitschy craft people! I can even throw in a bag of plane shavings for their basket displays, no charge. Heck, some of those shavings are big enough to turn into a bow. Maybe soak them for a little while, tie the bow, then after it dries, hit it with some spray can shellac or lacquer. Viola, instant kitsch.
This could be the start of a nice symbiotic relationship. We’ll buy your decent tools if you take our useless tools and wood shavings. But I personally draw the line at making you a bird house to decorate.
Does this help restore the balance of the universe a bit? -> http://sheworkswood.com/2012/09/16/no-3-stanley-rehab/
Bless you Marilyn
I look at it this way. $14.95 for decent hand plane? Sign me up!
no blade included so once you add in a Hock iron and chipbreaker the price isn’t quite $15 anymore.
Granted. But orphaned vintage #3/#4 irons and chipbreakers can still be found at reasonable cost. With a bit of luck you can have a quality tool for around 60 bucks; less if you’re really lucky. Don’t get me wrong, I love Ron Hock’s stuff and have some of his irons, but when you’re hobby budget is as tight as mine rehabilitation/conservation is often the most cost effective. If I needed a #3/#4 plane, I’d spend the 15 bucks and hope to scrounge an iron and chipbreaker later. With a little patience the right deal will come along. So, as reprehensible as plane decorating might be, anything that pulls useable woodworking tools back into circulation can’t be all bad. Just my two cents, and I’m probably over charging.
In line with Doug’s comment, I was wondering how I was going to assemble a starter hand tool set without breaking the budget. Now I know.
sorta like hot-rodding a model A
I am driving tomorrow 2 hours each way to rescue two beautiful wooden vise screws that have been made into lamps
Ron
Good for you, Ron!
I don’t do wood working and that disgusts me.
And I like some shabby chic. They just made that shabby shi$&@/::)
That’s funny right there. Thanks for the two cents Ross.
Oh boy. This hurts.
Even more so since over here in Europe, vintage Bailey type planes are so few and far between.
I have heard that from many of my Hand Tool School members. It is a shame but I can only hope it means that vintage tools are being used in Europe instead of gathering dust in attics and being defiled at craft shows.